Scrapplefest; This Weekend At Kajun Plantation

This weekend; June 9, 10, and 11th, The much antipicated First Annual Scrapplefest will be held at The Kajun Plantation---Our local Sherrif has already moved his barbeque paraphernalia into place to cook for the gala event [He doesn't know, or care, where his votes come from...He's one of them Democrats].

The menu consists of

Barbequed Alligator [tastes like chicken].

Fried Froglegs [tastes like chicken].

Losers at the Cock Fights across the road Saturday [tastes like chicken].

Why did the chicken cross the road?
Why did Draft Dodgers go to Canada?
They were both chicken!

Beerme has already started a barge load of his latest batch down the river. We have spies at Vicksburg who will let us know when it passes, so we can send the 18-wheelers to the Vidalia Dock to haul the beer to the scene of the impending consumption.

We feel sure the barge load of beer will arrive safely, as Bytor the White Wonder Wolf is guarding the precious cargo every inch of the way. Pete Pilsner and his Pilfering Pirates haven't got a chance with Bytor on duty!

Miss Maggie and Miss 'da Bunny are at their station in Kentucky to keep the riff-raff from crossing the border.

Vehicles containing any kind of a Kennedy or Clinton will not be allowed to cross the border. They will be turned back!

A few other items will not be tolerated, such as:

Unsweetened tea
Pepsi Cola
New England Patriots Paraphernalia, or
Carpet Bags of any kind

We're sure you understand.

The Gates open at noon on Friday. Don't say you weren't invited. Obtain driving directions from MAPQUEST, if needed.

Approximately one hour after the gates opened at noon on Friday, a hawk was observed alighting in the top of a tall pine tree (where it could keep an eye on the chicks across the road. It arrived about one hour late; due no doubt to the fact that the clock in Downtown, New Jersey is usually approximately one hour fast [probably because of its close proximity to those Noo Yawk Minutes].

More News

Governess Blank-o took a break from her crying yesterday to leak to the LSM that Air Force One had filed a flight plan to Concordia Parish Airport [one mile away]for today; as a result of that the Witch-In-A-Ditch is camped, along with her fake--but accurate cemetery, about a half mile down the road.

Latest arrival to Scrapplefest:

At noon today, a small plane was seen taking off and circling overhead. It climbed so high, it had to stop twice to buy gas...when it had reached 10,000 feet in altitude and stopped, a small speck could be seen being shoved out the door; a while later a parachute opened and drifted down toward the Kajun Plantation...a slight breeze from the Carribean caused the parachute to drift slightly, and the skydiver ended up straddling the fence. When the parachute was released, there was Boberin sitting on the fence [Don't let your foot touch the ground Bob--that's an electric fence!]

Obviously some of the reporters from the ditch sneaked through the woods into the Scrapplefest and helped finish off the beer [in the 97 degree heat, and just about dark the kegs were empty and festivities slowed down. Suddenly many numerous sirens could be heard nearing the plantation...down the road, in a third gear broadslide came a Corvette. When it got even with the Kajun lane, it grabbed second and shot down the lane and drove around back and hid in the Kajun National Forest. Seventy seven Ford State Police and Deputy Sherrifs' cars flew right on by---their hubcaps out-running them---down the dead-end road, scattering parts from ditch to ditch [totaled out Cindy's fake---but accurate cemetery again]. Out of the Vette, stepped Possumtrot with a case of fruit jars containing a clear liquid...this livened the party right back up, again.

Sunday morning:

When the dust cleared this morning, there was nothing left at the end of the road but a large pile of tin and plastic with an occasional blue wink coming from the pile.